buybuydandavis comments on The more privileged lover - Less Wrong

-16 [deleted] 04 March 2013 04:20PM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Article Navigation

Comments (108)

Comments (108)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: buybuydandavis 06 March 2013 03:43:05AM *  -1 points [-]

Social norms (and quite possibly behavioral instincts) prefer sexual negotiations to be implicit rather than explicit.

That doesn't really address the issue, because being explicit cuts both ways, whether a sexual advance or a sexual rebuff.

But your "everyday social behavior" strikes me as quite dysfunctional. To put a relationship under continual threat on an everyday basis strikes me as extremely harmful to a relationship, and I believe I've read research to that effect. People should expect that their mates will leave them if they're unhappy with the relationship, but making that a prominent subtext of everyday give and take seems quite unpleasant to me.

Comment author: wedrifid 06 March 2013 07:40:27AM 0 points [-]

But your "everyday social behavior" strikes me as quite dysfunctional. To put a relationship under continual threat on an everyday basis strikes me as extremely harmful to a relationship, and I believe I've read research to that effect. People should expect that their mates will leave them if they're unhappy with the relationship, but making that a prominent subtext of everyday give and take seems quite unpleasant to me.

You are disapproving of a straw man. Things like 'continual threat on an everyday basis' are (once again) your construction, not mine.

My judgement tells me it is time for me to embrace the BANTA and leave this thread. Neither the subject ("let's decide who to shame and blame!") nor the style seem desirable.

Comment author: buybuydandavis 06 March 2013 07:53:00AM 1 point [-]

You wrote:

On the other hand making equivalent behavioral signals that indicate that you are the kind of person who has sexual options and have the kind of personality that considers satisfying your preferences to be important and having the other person's instincts adjust to the implied incentives is basically just everyday social behavior.

I wrote:

To put a relationship under continual threat on an everyday basis

Doesn't look like a straw man to me, but have fun embracing the Banta.

Powered by Reddit Powered by Reddit