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beoShaffer comments on Boring Advice Repository - Less Wrong

56 Post author: Qiaochu_Yuan 07 March 2013 04:33AM

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Comment author: beoShaffer 07 March 2013 07:40:52PM *  24 points [-]

Always remember to thank them after they agree to help you and again after they've actually helped you, see for reference Ben Franklin effect , the 299th rule of acquisition, and the power of reinforcement.

Comment author: ModusPonies 07 March 2013 08:03:00PM 21 points [-]

A thousand times yes! And since this is a thread for boring, useful advice, I'll include the general version: Thank people who do things for you, whether or not you asked them to do it. It conditions them to help you. Thanking people reliably and sincerely is a powerful tool, and while there's a bit of skill to doing it well, it's more than worth practicing.

Comment author: beoShaffer 07 March 2013 08:27:36PM 1 point [-]

Does anyone know why the rest of my comment isn't showing? There should be links to an article on conditioning, an article on the Ben Franklin effect, and the rules of acquisition.

Comment author: arundelo 07 March 2013 09:31:32PM 4 points [-]

See if it's one of these problems. If not, I'll look at your Markdown source code if you email it to me. (My username AT hotmail.com or gmail.com.)

Comment author: beoShaffer 07 March 2013 09:41:04PM 1 point [-]

That worked, I had en.wikipedia instead of http://en.wikipedia.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 07 March 2013 08:54:18PM 0 points [-]

I don't know, but you have a chance of finding out if you click on the edit icon (the pencil in a square) for the comment. There's probably something wrong with the way you formatted the links. See if the Show Help box has anything useful.

Comment author: beoShaffer 07 March 2013 09:02:46PM 0 points [-]

I've done both and it looks correct.

Comment author: Rukifellth 12 March 2013 08:05:22PM *  3 points [-]

make someone else feel important

appropriate amount of honest flattery

I'm worried about tactics like this being overused. Pleasantries really do become mechanical through repetition, and I'm not sure if short term benefits are worth it. More likely than not, a person may be conditioned to think that flattery is only given before a request.

Comment author: ModusPonies 15 March 2013 08:39:40PM 4 points [-]

That is definitely a danger. It's important to also express honest appreciation when you have nothing specific to gain. (I've been making an effort to do more of that, lately.) If you do, you and your peers will be justifiably happier, and you also get to use tactics like the above without poisoning the well.

You should be a good person to everyone you meet — it is the moral thing to do, and as a sidenote will really help your networking