3 meetings, wouldn't call them dates.
I understand that, but it somehow makes me feel bad to have them there and ready and that I'm the one that actually also wants to but somehow/for some reason can't.
Just first-time sex as in intercourse. Well, in my mind sex = intercourse [as in penis in vagina], everything else is "fooling around". [Not debating definitions, just saying how it feels to me].
I don't know I need to test it, but that might be useful to try, to try to think of sex as being something else.
Sounds like your problems could cancel out. If you decline intercourse but "fool around" a lot, they're unlikely to be too unhappy about it.
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.