I recognized that I have a failure mode when introducing myself to new people: I immediately try to engage people on an intellectual level, and I don't have a backup plan if they don't go along with it. This often gives people the impression (perhaps subconsciously true) of a dominance move, and sometimes makes people feel that they were judged and found wanting. The result of this is that I end up with some people disliking or avoiding me if I introduce myself, when they would have been better disposed toward me if I'd met them some other way. (Not to mention the disutility to them!)

So I brainstormed some solutions which I'm going to put into practice:

• Making a conscious effort during introductions to "be present", to match body language, and to smile more.
• Reframe my most common questions to be less confrontational: for instance, I have a habit of asking people questions like "what do you do that's awesome?" or "what's something you believe that you'd expect me to disagree with?". While these questions provoke some really great responses from certain kinds of nerds (especially rationalists), I expect I can get many of the same benefits from "what's keeping you busy these days?" or "what's something that surprised you about X?" (if they mentioned they study X), both of which are less competitive in nature.
• Look for ways to meet people through intermediaries and take advantage of this: for instance, if A is introducing me to B, I could ask A about B something like "what's something you like about B?", using the fact that it's much more comfortable to talk up someone else than to talk up oneself.
• Possibly look for more systematized advice. Is there a better source yet than "How to Make Friends and Influence People", or should I just read that?

Addendum: I tried the first two while getting my hair cut by a new stylist yesterday, and it was a much more natural and fun conversation than ones I've had in the past with similar people.