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diegocaleiro comments on Using Evolution for Marriage or Sex - Less Wrong
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How do you know that touching the guys penis is the best course of action for the woman in that circumstance?
If the guy is nervous the girl could also say: "No, need to be nervous. You look awesome." The girl could spend 10-20 minutes relaxing the guy before moving on to sex.
To know what constitutes a good strategy you would need to ask a woman who actually tried multiple approaches to handle the situation.
Here are the initial letters of names of women I specifically talked to about this M, T, F, V, G, G, J, C, I, D, T, A, L, C, E.
About other things a girl can do. I mentioned reassurance 3 times, even exemplifying with "It's okay".
The reason why I mentioned touching specifically is because many women, specially when young, are not sure when or if they should touch a guy, and by and large all women with whom I ever spoke (2 exceptions come to mind) said they do not touch a guy's genitals unless he is excited (hard) already.
I'm sure other things that do the same - Deactivate the sympathetic, while activating the parasympathetic - could also have the same effect. A hot bathtub comes to mind, but is not handy or quick enough. Stopping for a while and focusing attention in anything else that isn't making him nervous also works, but it is not that quick either. Both can be done, should be done, if they are available options at the time. Touching is kind of "forcing" the system, but the system (both guys and girls) kind of likes to be touched under sexual circumstances. I had no intention of saying "be a pervert" because touching people's parts is part of everyone's lives, though sometimes not that openly spoken about.