they took it as an opportunity to dispense detailed advice on how to break it to him, often down to describing a rough script for me to follow.

This kind of reaction would actually be helpful for me. Most of my anxieties (e.g., about talking to people) can be defused by thinking concretely (e.g., about how to phrase things, or about what their reactions might be). It's possible your acquaintances who frustrated you with their advice were assuming your mind works like theirs, and were misguidedly but well-intentionedly trying to help.