I think this is a good example of a misunderstanding between people who have different communication and thought styles. Eliezer is obviously very verbally-oriented and George Lucas is an extreme visual thinker:
Small, shy, and socially maladroit, Lucas was a daydreamer who had trouble reading and writing at school and who gravitated toward mechanics and the visual arts, in which he showed early talent. "I was more picture-oriented," he says. He liked woodworking, tinkering, and taking photos, mostly of objects rather than people. He sculpted and did watercolors and ink drawings of landscapes and sports cars, some of which he sold. Comic books were a passion: He collected so many that his father built a shed for them; Lucas later called them his primary model for terse visual narrative.
Someone like Eliezer watches Star Wars and thinks about how weak the dialogue and plotting is. Someone like George Lucas would look at Eliezer's Harry Potter fanfic and think how sad it was that someone spent so much time stacking and arranging letters.
I think this is part of the reason why--in this overwhelmingly verbal/textual age--people think movies can be "bad," (synonymous with poorly-written) but still intensely enjoy them.
ETA: Movie reviewers are of course overwhelmingly verbal thinkers (Armond White is perhaps an exception.), which is presumably why they became writers instead of visual artists. This is a problem because they often evaluate films as though the visual aspect is just frosting and the only great films are those oriented around tight plotting and dialogue.
You don't need to be verbally oriebted to think in terns of a good story;
It's not a matter of verb, but of sequence and structure. Of buildup.
From EY's Facebook page, there were two posts that got me thinking about fiction and how to work it better and make it stronger:
I was wondering if we could apply this process to older fiction, Great Literature that is historically praised, and excellent by its own time's standards, but which, if published by a modern author, would seem substandard or inappropriate in one way or another.
Given our community's propensity for challenging sacred cows, and the unique tool-set available to us, I am sure we could take some great works of the past and turn them into awesome works of the present.
Of course, it doesn't have to be a laboratory where we rewrite the whole damn things. Just proprely-grounded suggestions on how to improve this or that work would be great.
P.S. This post is itself a work in progress, and will update and improve as comments come. It's been a long time since I've last posted on LW, so advice is quite welcome. Our work is never over.
EDIT: Well, I like that this thread has turned out so lively, but I've got finals to prepare for and I can't afford to keep participating in the discussion to my satisfaction. I'll be back in July, and apologize in advance for being such a poor OP. That said, cheers!