I can't imagine that out of 10^22 stars, only one would have life around it because of that. MAD should have let more worlds through than that. There would have to be worlds that got global governments before weapons capable of MAD. And if global governments (or other things that allow worlds to avoid our situations like ours or worse) were so rare, why would the one world that managed to slip through the filter (us) be even rarer, and have managed to survive to 2013 with two antagonistic superpowers with nukes, and no obvious stroke of luck preventing them from killing everyone?
Nuclear warfare MAD is one thing, but interplanetary and interestellar civilizations also suffer from MAD problems, arguably even moreso due to light-speed time lag of communications.
The standard view of Mutually Assured Distruction (MAD) is something like:
Occasionally people will reply with an argument like:
This is an anthropic argument, an attempt to handle the bias that comes from a link between outcomes and the number of people who can observe them. Imagine we were trying to figure out whether flipping "heads" was more likely than flipping "tails", but there was a coin demon that killed everyone if "tails" came up. Either we would see "heads" flipped, or we would see nothing at all. We're not able to sample from the "tails: everyone-dies" worlds. Even if the demon responds to tails by killing everyone only 40% of the time, we're still going to over-sample the happy-heads outcome.
Applying the anthropic principle here, however, requires that a failure of MAD really would have killed everyone. While it would have killed billions, and made major parts of the world uninhabitable, still many people would have survived. [1] How much would we have rebuilt? What would be the population now? If the cold war had gone hot and the US and USSR had fallen into wiping each other out, what would 2013 be like? Roughly, we're oversampling the no-nukes outcome by the ratio of our current population to the population there would have been in a yes-nukes outcome, and the less lopsided that ratio is the more evidence that MAD did work after all.
[1] For this wikipedia cites: The global health effects of nuclear war (1982), Long-term worldwide effects of multiple nuclear-weapons detonations (1975). Some looking online also turns up an Accelerating Future blog post. I haven't read them thoroughly, and I don't know much about the research here.
I also posted this on my blog