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army1987 comments on Bad Concepts Repository - Less Wrong
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Comments (204)
Also "need". There's always another option, and pretending sufficiently bad options don't exist can interfere with expected value estimations.
And "should" in the moralizing sense. Don't let yourself say "I should do X". Either do it or don't. Yeah, you're conflicted. If you don't know how to resolve it on the spot, at least be honest and say "I don't know whether I want X or not X". As applied to others, don't say "he should do X!". Apparently he's not doing X, and if you're specific about why it is less frustrating and effective solutions are more visible. "He does X because it's clearly in his best interests, even despite my shaming. Oh..." - or again, if you can't figure it out, be honest about it "I have no idea why he does X"
That would work nice if I was so devoid of dynamic inconsistency that “I don't feel like getting out of bed” would reliably entail “I won't regret it if I stay in bed”; but as it stands, I sometimes have to tell myself “I should get out of bed” in order to do stuff I don't feel like doing but I know I would regret not doing.
This John Holt quote is about exactly this.