Speaking as somebody who, over the last couple of months, has literally experienced new emotions ("So that's what that feels like" has been an all-too-common sentiment lately) at the age of 26, depression is... really complicated. I'm still seriously wrestling with whether or not I want to be depressed or not. But I don't think I could again; the experience has been a bit like... stepping from a black and white world to a color one; the colors are blindingly bright and it's kind of unpleasant but I think in the end I'll find this side more satisfying.
That explanation is a huge part of what made me realize I was depressed (I never really got out of the "I'm invincible!" stage of depression, I think, in spite of not knowing what I was immune -from-, except that it made other people act crazy). In retrospect I guess all the people -asking- me if I was depressed should have been a giveaway, though.
Urgh, this is really hard for me to say, as I'm still fucking angry with you over that politics thing and consider you an enemy, but... I reach out to you. I know what the lack of colour and the inability to care and the resentment at other people caring feels like. No-one should go through this. Thank you for responding. I hope it stabilizes.
I should probably get off my ass and make a Discussion post with a personal story and some links re: depression. The cycle of guilt, the suicidal ideation, all that nasty shit some of us struggle with.
P/S/A: There are single sentences which can create life-changing amounts of difference.