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ChristianKl comments on "Stupid" questions thread - Less Wrong
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One of the tips from Carnegie that gothgirl420666 doesn't mention is using people names.
Learn them and use them a lot in coversation. Great them with their name.
Say thing like: "I agree with you, John." or "There I disagree with you, John."
This is a piece of advice that most people disagree with, and so I am reluctant to endorse it. Knowing people's names is important, and it's useful to use them when appropriate, but inserting them into conversations where they do not belong is a known influence technique that will make other people cautious.
(While we're on the subject of recommendations I disagree with, Carnegie recommends recording people's birthdays, and sending them a note or a call. This used to be a lot more impressive before systems to automatically do that existed, and in an age of Facebook I don't think it's worth putting effort into. Those are the only two from the book that I remember thinking were unwise.)
Be judicious, and name drop with one level of indirection. "That's sort of what like John was saying earlier I believe yada yada."
It probably depends on the context. If you in a context like a sales conversation people might get cautious. In other context you might like a person trying to be nice to you.
But you are right that there the issue of artificialness. It can be strange if things don't flow naturally. I think that's more a matter of how you do it rather than how much or when.
At the beginning, just starting to greet people with their name can be a step forward. I think in most cultures that's an appropriate thing to do, even if not everyone does it.
I would also add that I'm from Germany, so my cultural background is a bit different than the American one.
This is how to sound like a smarmy salesperson who's read Dale Carnegie.