SaidAchmiz comments on "Stupid" questions thread - Less Wrong

40 Post author: gothgirl420666 13 July 2013 02:42AM

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Comment author: Caspian 15 July 2013 03:05:28PM 4 points [-]

Like RolfAndreassen said: please back the fuck off and leave others alone.

Please stop discouraging people from introducing themselves to me in circumstances where it would be welcome.

Comment author: SaidAchmiz 15 July 2013 04:15:09PM *  5 points [-]

Well, it seems we have a conflict of interests. Do you agree?

If you do, do you think that it is fair to resolve it unilaterally in one direction? If you do not, what should be the compromise?

To concretize: some people (introverts? non-NTs? a sub-population defined some other way?) would prefer people-in-general to adopt a policy of not introducing oneself to strangers (at least in ways and circumstances such as described by pragmatist), because they prefer that people not introduce themselves to them personally.

Other people (extraverts? NTs? something else?) would prefer people-in-general to adopt a policy of introducing oneself to strangers, because they prefer that people introduce themselves to them personally.

Does this seem like a fair characterization of the situation?

If so, then certain solutions present themselves, some better than others.

We could agree that everyone should adopt one of the above policies. In such a case, those people who prefer the other policy would be harmed. (Make no mistake: harmed. It does no good to say that either side should "just deal with it". I recognize this to be true for those people who have preferences opposite to my own, as well as for myself.)

The alternative, by construction, would be some sort of compromise (a mixed policy? one with more nuance, or one sensitive to case-specific information? But it's not obvious to me what such a policy would look like), or a solution that obviated the conflict in the first place.

Your thoughts?

Comment author: Caspian 17 July 2013 03:41:22PM 0 points [-]

Well, it seems we have a conflict of interests. Do you agree?

Yes. We also have interests in common, but yes.

If you do, do you think that it is fair to resolve it unilaterally in one direction?

Better to resolve it after considering inputs from all parties. Beyond that it depends on specifics of the resolution.

If you do not, what should be the compromise?

To concretize: some people (introverts? non-NTs? a sub-population defined some other way?) would prefer people-in-general to adopt a policy of not introducing oneself to strangers (at least in ways and circumstances such as described by pragmatist), because they prefer that people not introduce themselves to them personally.

Several of the objections to the introduction suggest guidelines I would agree with: keep the introduction brief until the other person has had a chance to respond. Do not signal unwillingness to drop the conversation. Signaling the opposite may be advisable.

Other people (extraverts? NTs? something else?) would prefer people-in-general to adopt a policy of introducing oneself to strangers, because they prefer that people introduce themselves to them personally.

Yeah. Not that I always want to talk to someone, but sometimes I do.

Does this seem like a fair characterization of the situation?

Yes.

If so, then certain solutions present themselves, some better than others. We could agree that everyone should adopt one of the above policies. In such a case, those people who prefer the other policy would be harmed. (Make no mistake: harmed. It does no good to say that either side should "just deal with it". I recognize this to be true for those people who have preferences opposite to my own, as well as for myself.)

I think people sometimes conflate "it is okay for me to do this" with "this does no harm" and "this does no harm that I am morally responsible for" and "this only does harm that someone else is morally responsible for, e.g. the victim"

The alternative, by construction, would be some sort of compromise (a mixed policy? one with more nuance, or one sensitive to case-specific information? But it's not obvious to me what such a policy would look like), or a solution that obviated the conflict in the first place. Your thoughts?

Working out such a policy could be a useful exercise. Some relevant information would be: when are introductions more or less bad, for those who prefer to avoid them.

Comment author: [deleted] 16 July 2013 11:22:12AM 0 points [-]

But it's not obvious to me what such a policy would look like

Like this (I mean the first paragraph, not the second).