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SarahC comments on Belief in Belief - Less Wrong
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Late to the game, but I'm precisely in this boat.
I don't have faith -- if I did, I'd have no qualms whatsoever about facts and arguments presented by atheists. I wouldn't be nervously claiming that the dragon is invisible. (Some people who think the apocalypse is nigh actually do stockpile canned food. That's faith; they believe in Revelations the same way I believe in physics.) I don't have faith, because I'm actually frightened that some archaeologist will find evidence that there wasn't any Exodus, for instance. And the fear is really that changing my religious beliefs will make me a worse person. Less grateful? Less reverent? Less respectful? That's the basic idea but I'm not sure if those words convey it.
To give a non-religious analogy, take the question of whether men have evolved to be irresponsible fathers. That's an empirical question. But a man can be afraid of believing that he is, indeed, biologically designed to be an irresponsible father, because he fears that such a belief will make him actually treat his children poorly. A rational man, we'd hope, would decide "I'll be a good father, whatever the evolutionary biologists say." But he can only do that if he has some independent reason to be a good father, and if he's aware he does.
A religious person wants to be a good person, and wants to have the right sort of attitude to the world. But all his reasons and motivations come from God. He could fear not believing in God because he fears not being good. Presumably, he has some other, non-God motivations for wanting to be good; but let's say that he doesn't know what they are. Then his fear might be justified. With no God and no principles, his behavior might actually change.
If I may extend your hypothetical frightened father metaphor: the man is worried that he is biologically designed to be an irresponsible father, but he is mistaken to worry that he will find out that he is biologically designed to be irresponsible. What he wants is to be responsible, not to think that he is responsible, so the mere fact of whether or not he knows some specific fact is not going to affect that.
Whatever the truth is, the hypothetical frightened father - and the very real frightened theists, such as yourself - already are living under whatever conditions actually hold. If the father is a responsible one, he already wins, whatever his biological predisposition was. If a theist is a good person, that theist already is a good person, whether God is real or not.
That is the first of two essential points. The second is this: if you would rather be good than not, then you are already on the right path, even if you can't see where you are going. Others have walked this way before, and escaped into clear air.
Well, my issue is that people act based on their beliefs. A father will do things for his children because he thinks he can, and thinks he should. If he reads an article in Psychology Today and doesn't see the point any more, because baboon fathers don't raise children, well, then, his behavior is likely to change.
The worst case scenario is believing incorrectly that it's okay to do wrong. Believing incorrectly that it's wrong to do something okay is not as bad; you're mistaken, but you're not destructive. The loss-averse strategy is to be very suspicious of claims that tell you "Relax, don't worry, it's all right to do X."
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. The solution to this dilemma is to learn more. It really isn't so bad on the other side if you just keep walking and don't look down.
I wouldn't be here if I weren't seriously open to changing my mind. I'll give it some thought.