wedrifid comments on Open thread, August 12-18, 2013 - Less Wrong

2 Post author: David_Gerard 12 August 2013 06:46AM

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Comment author: jooyous 16 August 2013 02:20:56AM 1 point [-]

Does anyone have a working definition of "forgiveness"? Given that definition, do you find it to be a useful thing to do?

Comment author: wedrifid 16 August 2013 05:27:05AM *  1 point [-]

Does anyone have a working definition of "forgiveness"?

What the (emotional) decision to refrain from further vengeance (often) feels like from the inside.

Given that definition, do you find it to be a useful thing to do?

Sometimes. Certainly not all the time. Tit-for-tat with a small amount of forgiveness often performs well. Note that tit-for-tat (the part where the other defects and then cooperates you then proceed to cooperate) also sometimes counts as 'forgiviness' in common usage. Like many cases where game theory and instinctive emotional adaptions intended to handle some common games (like what feels like 'blackmail') the edges between the concepts are blurry.

Comment author: jooyous 16 August 2013 09:17:01PM 1 point [-]

That's interesting, because I think I usually refrain from vengeance by default, but I do try to like ... limit further interaction and stuff. Maybe that's similar.

The way I was thinking about it is that there's an internal feelings component -- like, do you still feel sad and hurt and angry? Then there's the updating on evidence component -- are they likely to do that or similar things again? And then there's also a behavioral piece, where you change something in the way you act towards/around them (and I'm not sure if vengeance or just running awaaay both count?) So I wasn't sure which combination of those were part of "forgiveness" in common usage. It sounds like you're saying internal + behavioral, right?