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tog comments on You Can Face Reality - Less Wrong
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That's just not true, for some social environments. If you and your friends all believe X, and believing X identifies people as being members of that group, then discovering that X is false and owning up to it might make you lose a lot of friends. Depending on what you need those friends for, that might be a serious problem.
Other alternatives are:
Tell yourself the truth and lie to your friends if needed. Many people find it difficult to lie consistently for a long time; I don't think I can.
Find friends you don't need to lie to.
Take the lead and try to bring your existing friends with you as you change your mind.
There's always the default option, which is to deceive yourself.
Maybe you're lucky and X isn't really a membership-belief to start with, and these friends are already friends you don't need to lie to.
You're conflating something here. The statement only refers to "what is true", not your situation; each pronoun refers only to "what is true":
In that case saying "Owning up to the truth doesn't make the truth any worse" is correct, but doesn't settle the issue at hand as much as people tend to think it does. We don't just care about whether someone owning up to the truth makes the truth itself worse, which it obviously doesn't. We also care about whether it makes their or other people's situation worse, which it sometimes does.