As we discovered on the London Google Group, I can talk at length about common pitfalls of group living, but a lot of that is based on experience rather than any kind of good theoretical understanding. Here are a few broad observations that stand out.
Coordination starts getting hard when you have more than three people in a household. Up until that point, it's relatively plain sailing unless you have wildly different expectations.
Arguments (especially ongoing ones) generally happen because of a disparity between what people agreed to and what people think is fair. Having all "official" household agreements written down somewhere with a set renegotiation date can help to offset this.
Most disputes between otherwise-civilised people sharing living space are about cleanliness. Hiring a cleaner can eliminate a lot of resentment.
Having a regular forum to discuss the household and air grievances-in-waiting works surprisingly well. Agreeing, for example, to convene on the first Monday of every month to talk about things that need doing, repairs, issues, expenses, upcoming visitors, etc.
Organise money and payments to involve as few transactions as possible. How this is best accomplished will depend on the setup in question, but dividing up expenses between multiple parties can be a highly counterintuitive process. With multiple people paying multiple bills, you can wind up with accidental change-raising scenarios. You never want to be in the position of not knowing who any given debt or credit belongs to.
I think a running theme with these is that people often believe bonds of friendship are sufficient motivators to get everyone to cooperate well in a household. In reality, there are legitimate coordination and cooperation problems that upscale poorly, and instigating formal mechanisms for things can take the pressure off the social bonds. Some of my best domestic relationships were under mercenary convenience arrangements with relative strangers. When you don't have to worry about showing how great a friend you are, it's much easier to get along.
On the other hand, if your house has 3 people or fewer, living in it may not be especially interesting and people will feel relatively more compelled to go out and do fun things on their own instead of defaulting to doing things with their roommates (which is self-reinforcing to a degree). I think 3 might be a bad number in general... you also run the risk of 3rd wheel type issues.
At our most recent meetup, the London LessWrongers began discussion of setting up one or more houses in the capital. This thread is intended for discussion and advice on planning ‘rationalist households’ and on making them thrive. You can also register your interest in being part of a London, UK rationalist house here.
Those who currently live in or have previously lived in rationalist households, or who have relevant experience, are particularly encouraged to share their experiences, and any data on house setups is most welcome. It would be great if we could get case studies of several rationalist households, to compare approaches and aid other organizers.
We’re considering having a room for visitors and people who are only in the city for part of the year, with an Airbnb-type arrangement for that room at other times. Therefore, we are seeking advice from Airbnb hosts on setting this up, as well as on its advantages and disadvantages.
We would also like to hear about the common pitfalls of group living in order to avoid making basic errors.