Really new to this site, I'm hitting a problem I've experienced in other aspects of my life as a student, employee and comedic performer: I'm extremely rude. I don't realize it at the time, thinking that I'm just being blunt, forceful and direct. In the sense that those can all be definitions of similar concepts, then yeah! Well, confidence in myself is a great asset, and I've turned it to positive effect, especially when I need to intimidate someone with a roguish smile and a calm, iron-hard assertion backed up by a blistering intensity (I sound like a Marty-Stu right now. Draco will want his leather pants back.)
But making rationally sound argument should not be about winning. It should be about accuracy, clarity and sanity. If you disagree with me on something I need to remind myself not to automatically fight. What good is being alpha when I'm ignoring my confusion and avoiding my embarrassment at possibly being mistaken. Not to mention that this is an internet forum, so limitations of the medium means attempting to look like a tough guy winds up hollow and sad, like a chocolate Easter bunny that's gone off.
Okay, I'm not one for similes, but I am one for trying to make myself more sane.
This more or less cuts to the core of the issue. Would I be better off if I could flip a switch and shut off my aggression entirely? Almost certainly not, since I wouldn't care enough to form a cogent answer to any comments. Would I be well served by immediately jumping to action every time I feel passionate? Evidently not, since in my haste to resolve a perceived insult or problem I could forget to fully think through the issue from the start and form an erroneous or biased response. Essentially I'd just like to learn more patience, so that when something does ruffle my feathers I don't feel the need to instantly answer before I've given careful consideration.