Desrtopa comments on Advice for a smart 8-year-old bored with school - Less Wrong

10 Post author: James_Miller 09 October 2013 07:19PM

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Comment author: Decius 10 October 2013 12:39:58AM 5 points [-]

"Being punched by bullies" was one of the more common social interactions I had during my three years of middle school.

My suggestion, if that ever becomes the problem, would be to have the victim carry a concealed tape recorder and get the entire (verbal) portion on tape, including as much of a narration of the events as possible ("Why are you blocking me from going down this hallway?"). Armed with that recording, the guardian needs to confront the school officials and demand that effective measures be taken, or the media will become involved.

In my experience, the school administration either ignored stronger evidence or took actions which were ineffective; I never actually involved criminal court, although I should have, but I expect that they will decline to prosecute as well. The media, however, would love something like such a recording, combined with a "think of the children" banner. Threatening the administration with such a fate should be enough motivation to make them stop looking like they are looking for a solution and start looking for a solution; in addition, they might accept reasonable suggestions.

Again, I don't think that's what's happening in the OP, but I think it's important enough that anybody who has that kind of problem find it wherever they search; the low probability that my target audience is ever going to see this particular post is accounted for.

Comment author: Desrtopa 10 October 2013 12:57:28AM 5 points [-]

This sounds like a possible viable way of dealing with bullying, but in general, I think that if the children bring the bullying to their parents' attention, and the parents are willing to intercede and make a serious effort on the kids' behalf, bullying is usually solvable. It's when adults insist that kids "need to learn to work these matters out among themselves" that troubles become intractable, and since I became an adult myself, I have on a few occasions had to remind adults that the way it works in the grown up world is that we have authorities we call on to intervene in conflicts because we don't expect victims to be able to resolve matters amicably with their victimizers.

Comment author: Viliam_Bur 10 October 2013 12:52:36PM *  5 points [-]

I think that if the children bring the bullying to their parents' attention, and the parents are willing to intercede and make a serious effort on the kids' behalf, bullying is usually solvable.

Also, one important step is that the parents must believe the child's report of bullying. As opposed to e.g. thinking "this is an exaggerated version of something that is probably harmless". (This was a mistake my parents were making all the time.)