I certainly think a lot about other people's judgements, desperately want them to like and respect me, spend way too much time worrying about what people think, need constant positive feedback to feel good about my skills, occasionally cry when I get too much constructive criticism at work, etc. But those feelings don't seem to propagate back into my goals

As long as you believe you are an okay and worthwhile person regardless of whether the goal is achieved, then there's no risk of motivational backfiring, at least not of the kind I'm talking about.

You can want people to like and respect you, want to feel better about your skills, etc., without it being the same as feeling worthless unless those things turn out the way you want. If your basic self-worth is not rooted in your skills or what other people think of you, then you probably won't have much of this kind of trouble.

I have a couple of tests I suggest to people to verify the truth or falsehood of their goals; one is to ask if you'd still want it to happen even if it had to be a complete secret from anybody but you, and you couldn't get any personal credit or recognition for it. Another is whether imagining the end result makes you feel physically good in your torso and inclines you to make an "mmm" or "ahhh" sound with a relaxed breath (true goal), or whether it makes you feel tense or at most, relieved (both an indication of negative motivation, usually -- but not always -- a false goal.