I, on the other hand, like the "telegraphic" writing style of the post (for all that I might recommend various tweaks here and there), and am happy to see this material in this form. (Just to list one advantage of such a style, it tends to produce texts with a high degree of "skimmability").

Lately I've been inclining toward the view that, given human psychological diversity, there really is no such thing as too many different pedagogical texts on a given subject. So rather than encouraging this author to change the style of this post, I would sooner encourage them or (more likely) someone else to write another one if the need is felt.