Vaniver comments on Open Thread, October 27 - 31, 2013 - Less Wrong
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You've accurately summarized what I said. I think on reflection point a) is very dubious, so allow me to instead bite your bullet: I don't yet have a strong level of confidence that same-sex marriages are likely to work. (Which I don't see as a reason to make them illegal, but might be a reason to e.g. weight them less strongly when considering a couple's suitability to adopt).
I think we may need to taboo "work" here; if we're talking about suitability as an organizational leader here then that's a higher standard than just enjoying one's own sex life. I would supplement b) with the observation that we observe historical instances of gay people making major contributions to wider society - Turing, Wilde, Britten (British/Irish examples because I'm British/Irish).
But yeah, that's basically my position. Interested to see where you're going with this - is there such an "established (if unofficial) tradition of long-term, stable multi-adult relationships" that I'm just ignorant of?
Um, polygamy? Concubinage? Both have long histories, and show up in cultures that are clearly functional.
Both of them are less gender egalitarian than modern polyamory, and it's not clear to me that there's ample real-world evidence of, say, Heinlein's idea of line marriages working out.
Clearly functional... but as functional? http://www.gwern.net/docs/2012-heinrich.pdf
I think it would be useful here to distinguish between what is/was/should be/might be the average and what is the acceptable range of deviation from that average.
A society where most men have one wife but some men have several is different from a society where most men have one wife and having several is illegal and socially unacceptable.
Probably not- I buy the arguments that the incentives generated by monogamy are better than the ones generated by polygamy, across society as a whole. (I am not yet convinced that serial monogamy enabled by permissive divorce laws is better than polygyny, but haven't investigated the issue seriously.) I meant more to exclude the idea that polygamy is only seen in, say, undeveloped societies.