For myself, I can't really say that the media is a causal factor. I think it might just be a case of art imitating life, rather than film influencing values.
I would say that most relationships which are depicted as desirable in movies are, in fact, dysfunctional. When I see people watching them without recognizing that the relationship is actually dysfunctional and glossing over unfortunate implications, I feel irritated. It's also a constant source of values dissonance for me.
Simple stuff, like the notion that people who are alone are necessarily unhappy, sex negativism, black and white thinking (either s/he's The One or s/he's a terrible person), etc...and in general, there are so many love stories that do not depict any actual love or even altruistic behavior. Which would be fine, except it's done with absolutely no self awareness of that fact on the part of the writer or the audience. They think they're depicting a good situation.
I'd add that romances in movies (which are necessarily constrained in development time by the length of the format) tend to involve characters making grand gestures or major commitments while in a state of limerence without demonstrating fundamental compatibilities which would suggest good long term prospects.
Hi,
what good movies can you suggest that give ideas or inspirations on how to be more rational?
I just watched [Memento](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memento_%28film%29) last night and I was very impressed.
(No spoilers in this post)
The main character is a guy who suffers from amnesia, he forgets everything after a couple minutes so he has developed a system to cope with it. He takes pictures and writes notes. E.g. when staying at a hotel he takes a picture of it and put it in his pocket. So later when he doesnt know where he is staying he searches his pockets, finds the picture of the hotel and then he knows.
What I learned
I identified with the character in the movie because in spite of not having amnesia my memory as everyone elses isn't perfect either and I have all the quirks(biases) of a normal human brain. I cant exactly remember what I did last Thursday at 3 PM. Do I actually know why I am doing what Im doing or why I believe what I believe? I may have good rationalizations for both, of course, but that doesnt mean they are the real reasons.
I like to read LW but I havent developed much of a system to actually be more rational. If anyone has, I would be eager to read about it.
Practical Advice
What system could I develop to be more rational? One thing that a lot of management experts(e.g. Peter Drucker) have already pointed out is to write down how we actually spend our time because often how we spend it is not how we think we spend it and we end up spending much more time on unproductive activities than we are aware of. How much time went into random internet browsing last week?
I will start an activity log during work: how much time Im spending on what. This will be a first step.