I think that is the right question and plunge ahead giving a specific answer, basically that "the self" is an instinct, not a thing.

The self is the verbal behaviour that results from certain instincts necessary to the functioning of a cognitive architecture with intelligence layered on top of a short term reward system. We can notice how slightly different instincts give rise to slightly different senses of self and we can ask engineers' questions about which instincts, and hence which sense-of-self, give the better functioning cognitive architecture. But these are questions of better or worse, not true or false.

But I express myself too tersely. I long for spell of good health, so that I can expand the point to an easy-read length.