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RomeoStevens comments on Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality discussion thread, part 28, chapter 99-101 - Less Wrong
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time turners exist
harry wants to become god
people have died in the past
You should edit that so that the last line has only five syllables.
Perhaps?
Or:
"people have died before" "people have died in past"
In the past. You lose elegance points if you have to drop words in order to fit what you want to say in the requisate number of syllables.
"in past" is a perfectly valid form. How I talk, really.
I've heard "in future" before (my mind tags it as British), so "in past" makes sense. But you still have 6 syllables (unless "people have" is only 2, as "peep-lav"?). I came up with "Folks have died before." myself.
I'm bad at syllables. Any time I try haikuing, I almost invariably think one word quickly, ignore the excess syllables I'm not pronouncing, and mess it up.
Inspired by this, I wrote some more of these, summarizing the first five chapters of HPMOR.
What is your point?
If Harry unlocks magical godhood the transformation might be instantaneous from this timeline's persective.