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Dorikka comments on Luck II: Expecting White Swans - Less Wrong
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OTOH, if you don't communicate what you see but do use it to optimize your interactions, knowing that such patterns exist can be very useful. (Communicating your knowledge of such patterns can have significant drawbacks as a way to obtain status, such as that which you listed above.)
That is indeed true and kind of a problem for me. I was raised to be truthful by positive example and value truth highly. I formed a moral ideal of mutual truthfulness early. Towards people I trust I am very open and don't hide/lie about my feelings or opinions. Toward strangers I don't lie (I might for higher purposes) but may hide information for some personal advantage (but not if it only if it's to the others advantage). Mutual truth and openness were a core part of my marriage. Some lack of sensitivity has often led to hurt due to this combination despite trying to be nice. Being truthful and open is part of my identity and reputation. I can't just change it. And I don't think that it is neccessary because such a reputation and consistency has their own advantages (via long-term signalling).