hyporational comments on Open thread for January 1-7, 2014 - Less Wrong

2 Post author: NancyLebovitz 01 January 2014 03:54PM

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Comment author: JayDee 03 January 2014 08:32:22PM 8 points [-]

Question about a low-level social thing:

I've noticed that I have low priority in at mid-large group conversations. What I mean is that in situations where I'm one of two people talking, I'm (generally) the one who stops and the attention of the "audience" (people-who-aren't-speaking) is predominantly on the other person even before I stop speaking.

This used to cause me considerable distress, but no longer. I've accepted it as a fact of the social universe. But I'm still curious and would like to change it, if possible.

I suspect that this is something that varies by social group, and more strongly suspect that some behavior of mine is key.

I'm interested in (being pointed to) discussion of this type of thing, especially if it contains actionable advice.

Comment author: hyporational 04 January 2014 10:18:41PM *  3 points [-]

You're really not giving enough specific information. There are countless reasons why that might happen so any advice you take here could lead to erratic behavior.

In addition to what other people said, this sounds like you might be too verbose or bad at gauging which topics interest other people and to what extent. They might look at the other person because they wish them to interrupt you and move on.

Comment author: JayDee 05 January 2014 06:09:36AM 0 points [-]

Fair enough. At this stage I'm curious as to which specifics I should be looking at. Or what kinds of things are key (to speaker priority in groups of 5-10).

The various elements of body language given, and your notes on content (I can be too verbose, for sure) have given me what I need to go on for now.