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Benquo comments on Handshakes, Hi, and What's New: What's Going On With Small Talk? - Less Wrong
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I do the exact same thing, so far it's been working pretty well. It's a bit easier in German, because we have a larger range of expressions to play with, I wonder about how to do it in English properly.
"How do you do" wouldn't work for me at all; if the other person is familiar with it, then it will function merely as a greeting; and if they don't and take it seriously as a request, it'll cause me to perceive them as uneducated.
I've always felt that "How are you doing" is slightly more of a sincere question that "How's it going", and I am hereby asking for native speakers to confirm or deny this.
My newest idea, which I will try out: "I want to know how you are doing."
For what it's worth, it sounds odd to me. Part of that is, presumably, because "I want" instead of "I'd like to" in connection with something directly involving the interlocutor is rather forceful, likely inappropriately so. But even "I'd like to know how you are doing" comes across as weirdly and artificially sincere, which I suspect gets interpreted as evidence of low social skills, hence reflecting negatively on the speaker. I wonder if this is a trap that all attempts at solving this linguistic problem are bound to fall into.
Imagine it said by someone who is very relaxed, in a soft tone of voice, after the "hello" pleasantries, looking you straight in the eye.