YOU ARE TELLING ME MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE ILLEGITIMATE.
Sometimes this is the case. Once you've realized this, try not to let it bother you too much. What's true is already so; denying it doesn't make it go away, and shouting on the Internet won't make it go away either.
That is literally the first step to dehumanizing and murdering me.
If you're worried about this, you're either a totally normal oppressed persyn, or a paranoid white dude.
If you're a white dude, you should stop appropriating very real fears that plenty of people face on a daily basis. That's just bad taste.
I for one don't think the adversarial approach of many feminist and pro queer writers is sane.
Assuming you're a white dude, it's really not your place to tell feminists or queer activists how to do what they do.
Do you see how your privilege has you assuming that you 1. know best and 2. should tell other people how to exist? Not to mention the fact you apparently think men are somehow necessary for feminist collective action.
A long blog post explains why the author, a feminist, is not comfortable with the rationalist community despite thinking it is "super cool and interesting". It's directed specifically at Yvain, but it's probably general enough to be of some interest here.
http://apophemi.wordpress.com/2014/01/04/why-im-not-on-the-rationalist-masterlist/
I'm not sure if I can summarize this fairly but the main thrust seems to be that we are overly willing to entertain offensive/taboo/hurtful ideas and this drives off many types of people. Here's a quote:
The author perceives a link between LW type open discourse and danger to minority groups. I'm not sure whether that's true or not. Take race. Many LWers are willing to entertain ideas about the existence and possible importance of average group differences in psychological traits. So, maybe LWers are racists. But they're racists who continually obsess over optimizing their philanthropic contributions to African charities. So, maybe not racists in a dangerous way?
An overly rosy view, perhaps, and I don't want to deny the reality of the blogger's experience. Clearly, the person is intelligent and attracted to some aspects of LW discourse while turned off by other aspects.