Thanks for the detailed reply! I should note that my current outlook seems very similar to your own: I no longer attach guilt to "unproductive" activities. I still find them fundamentally unsatisfying, and get restless if I can't do something constructive for extended periods, but I give myself license to engage in leisure as necessary and trust myself not to abuse that license. My next post covers this transition, but your second paragraph captures much of what I was planing to say.

In particular, I'd like to reinforce one of your points: Tying negative emotions to the things I didn't want to do was not enough to motivate me to do the things I did want to do. None of the above has been a driving force, it is mainly context that will help the next part make sense.