hyporational comments on Why I haven't signed up for cryonics - Less Wrong
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Ok. To me it most often feels like I'm observing that some parts of my brain struggle and that I'm there to tip the scales, so to speak. This doesn't necessarily lead to a desirable outcome if my influence isn't strong enough. I can't say I feel conflicted about in what direction to tip the scales, but I assume this is just because I'm identifying with a part of my brain that can't monitor its inner conflicts. I might have identified with several conflicting parts of my brain at once in the past, but don't remember what it felt like, nor would I be able to tell you how this transformation might have happened.
This sounds like tipping the scales. Are you indentifying with several conflicting processes or are you just expressing yourself in a socially convenient manner? If you're X that's trying to make process A win process B in your brain and process B wins in a way that leads to undesirable action, does it make any sense to say that you did something you didn't want to do?
Your description of tipping the scale sounds about right, but I think that it only covers two of the three kinds of scenarios that I experience:
I now realize that I hadn't previously clearly made the distinction between those different scenarios, and may have been conflating them to some extent. I'll have to rethink what I've said here in light of that.
I think that I identify with each brain-faction that has managed to "install" "its" preferences in the scale-tipping system at some point. So if there is any short-term impulse that all the factions think should be overriden given the chance, then I don't identify with that short-term impulse, but since e.g. both the negative utilitarian and deontological factions manage to take control at times, I identify with both to some extent.