moridinamael dons his Professor Quirrell's Turban of +10 Cynicism.
There is value to be found in experiencing total, brutal betrayal by a supposed loved one.
Once you have passed through all the stages of grief, plus a few years of buffer time, you're able to look back on the self upon whom that disaster befell and wonder at how you could have ever been so trusting.
But you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, because you - anybody, me, you, most people you know, whatever - are raised on Disney movies and romcoms, so you implicitly, by default, view people a certain way. Let's call this view the "fragile angel" view, wherein humans are Basically Good but can become broken and insane by accident or birth.
For a long time you think "your problem" was that you should have spotted this particular "broken angel" coming and protected yourself preemptively. That you should have seen the signs - all so obvious in retrospect, right?
Wrong, usually. The deeper, lonelier truth is that the "fragile angel" view doesn't actually pay rent, and you do much better modeling other people as vicious reptilian warminds with transiently self-aware neocortices stapled on as an afterthought.
["Of course, you should probably compartmentalize this part of yourself in order to remain sane," said the part of moridinamael not wearing the turban, "But it is fundamentally difficult to unlearn this lesson once you feel it in your bones once. Perhaps one requires therapy in order to do so."]
It is a strange place for a wannabe-rational agent to be. One would never wish a disaster upon oneself which wipes out all of one's utility/happiness, but the perspective that is gained in exchange is difficult to obtain any other way. In modern life, where you (usually) don't actually die when your loved ones betray you in this specific way, you might actually come out ahead in the long run! Seriously! You won't make that mistake again, and there will be p-l-enty of opportunities to make it!
But you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, because you - anybody, me, you, most people you know, whatever - are raised on Disney movies and romcoms, so you implicitly, by default, view people a certain way. Let's call this view the "fragile angel" view, wherein humans are Basically Good but can become broken and insane by accident or birth.
Why single out Disney movies? Lots of them have people being betrayed by someone they thought trustworthy. Generally it's obvious to the audience who the villain is, but Disney has been playing around with their formula quite a bit recently - for example, have you seen Frozen?
This is the earlier promised post about Dealing with a Major Personal Crisis. Please continue reading there but comment here.
The reasons for posting it this way are explained at the end of the link. I hope this approach does what I want it to.