As a lead, you learn that you aren't really controlling much of anything in Salsa either. You're setting boundary conditions; follows have a fascinating way of exploring the space of those boundaries in ways you often don't expect.
But I'm guessing that you've hit on the right direction of interpretation of sloppiness as letting go of control. I'd extend that to too much self conscious control. Great art, and particularly great dancing, is finding a clear intention and a method of focusing your discursive consciousness and voluntary attention that harnesses the rest* of your capabilities for the same intention.
When the self monitoring person in your head tries to do too much, he gets in the way of the rest of you doing it right.
As a lead, you learn that you aren't really controlling much of anything in Salsa either. You're setting boundary conditions; follows have a fascinating way of exploring the space of those boundaries in ways you often don't expect.
For advanced dancing that's true. For beginners, not so much. At the beginning Salsa is the guy leading a move and the woman following.
If you are a guy and want to learn dancing for the sake of letting go control I wouldn't recommend Salsa. I think it took me 1 1/2 years to get to that point.
If it's worth saying, but not worth its own post (even in Discussion), then it goes here.