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army1987 comments on White Lies - Less Wrong
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Most people we meet will not have as high an opinion of us as we might hope. Politeness dictates they should not spell out all the ways in which this is true. When you manage to indirectly infer they don't have such a high opinion of you in spite of their politeness, you probably shouldn't get too insulted.
Again, this depends on how closely you know / how friendly you are with the person in question.
Someone I met once or several times, with whom I am on speaking terms but not really at all close, thinks there's a nontrivial chance I might be a potential violent asshole? I don't get too insulted (although I would draw conclusions from this about that person's world view, and might condition considerations of increased friendliness with that person on the basis of those conclusions).
Someone I am more socially close to thinks this of me? I'm more insulted. I mean, this isn't the sort of "not as high of an opinion as one might hope" where they politely refrain from saying that I put way too much salt in my casserole. This is quite a bit more serious.