SaidAchmiz comments on White Lies - Less Wrong

38 Post author: ChrisHallquist 08 February 2014 01:20AM

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Comment author: SaidAchmiz 09 February 2014 08:44:04PM 1 point [-]

You of course have all the right to be insulted but if you can't hide it you might make their fear a self fulfilling prophecy of sorts.

Wait, what? Are you equating being offended at someone implying that you're a violent asshole, with actually being a violent asshole?

Doesn't that sort of equation make most insults into self-fulfilling prophecies? "I called her a bitch, and she got angry! Thus proving my point!" "I told him he was a moron, and he got insulted! What a moron for not realizing that he's a moron!"

It might help to alleviate the insult to remember that these kinds of judgements might be more a result of flawed heuristics that evolution spawned than deliberate reasoning. People can be quite clueless of what they're afraid of, especially in complex situations that all social situations happen to be.

Yes, that's true. The less self-aware, rational, and generally intelligent a person is, the less insulted I am when they think poorly of me.

Comment author: hyporational 09 February 2014 09:12:36PM *  0 points [-]

Wait, what? Are you equating being offended at someone implying that you're a violent asshole, with actually being a violent asshole?

Of course not. I'm not justifying the behavior, I'm explaining why getting insulted might be suboptimal as it might breed more of said behavior.

Comment author: SaidAchmiz 09 February 2014 09:27:30PM 0 points [-]

I don't think I follow. Specify, please, to which behavior you refer.

Comment author: hyporational 09 February 2014 09:35:20PM *  1 point [-]

Someone witholds information from you because they're afraid you might get hostile. You think they should think more highly of you and get offended. You facial expressions and your tone of voice signal the person you're angry. Which way do you think this will affect their mostly subconscious estimation of your potential hostility in the case of volunteering the information?

I'm not trying to justify any behavior, I was referring to witholding information.

Comment author: SaidAchmiz 09 February 2014 09:43:49PM 0 points [-]

I understand what you're saying now, yes. (I think "self-fulfilling prophecy" is a misleading term to use to describe this, though.)

As to your question: I think this falls into the category of "person is not very self-aware or rational".

Comment author: hyporational 09 February 2014 09:59:35PM *  0 points [-]

I agree the expression doesn't fit like a glove, just thought it was close enough. What do you think is misleading about it?

I think this falls into the category of "person is not very self-aware or rational".

Perhaps, and the way I see it these qualities inconvenience even the best of us much of the time.

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