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Creutzer comments on Is love a good idea? - Less Wrong
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Uhm... What? Why on Earth, why?
To clarify, I should have said I recommend love even if it doesn't end up yielding a utility advantage for you. I've found it's a better choice than trying to "utilize" love for your own ends.
Still, you must be rather unusual if loving people who don't love you back works all that well for you.
There isn't anything you can do to make other people love you. You can make them need you, want you, like you...but people must choose to love, as I've defined it. This is why I said I don't think LW will ever be an advocate of love defined as such. It doesn't "work all that well" for people who are looking to "win".
You can increase the probability a little, though.
Even choosing to interact with people who have the capacity to love (the way you want to be loved) increases the chance your love will be reciprocated. It's probably easier to explain in reverse: if you only keep company of people unable to love (the way you want to be loved), your chances of being loved drop to zero.
Sometimes it helps to be a bit explicit. Tell the person you care about them, and you want to participate in their life goals. Just the fact that they spend a little more time thinking about you, increases the chance that if you are one of the possible candidates, they will choose you. If you have similar values, it is better to know about it.
Of course this all is within some given limits. You can't make (from 0% to 100%) the other person love you. But if there is a potential for mutual love, you can can increase your chances maybe from 0.1% to 10% just by being visible.
I chose to love regardless of how the other feels towards me.