If altruism entails a cost to the self, then your claim that altruism is all about values seems false
Why does it seem false? It is about values, in particular the relationship between the value "welfare of strangers" and the value "resources I have".
If the social contract requires being nice to people
It does not. The social contract requires you not to infringe upon the rights of other people and that's a different thing. Maybe you can treat it as requiring being polite to people. I don't see it as requiring being nice to people.
Furthermore, being nice in a way the exposes me to undue risk is bad for society (the social contract entails shared values, so such behaviour would also expose others to risk), so under the social contract, cases where being nice is not rational do not really exist.
I think we have a pretty major disagreement about that :-/
Why does it seem false?
If welfare of strangers is something you value, then it is not a net cost.
Yes, there is an old-fashioned definition of altruism that assumes the action must be non-self-serving, but this doesn't match common contemporary usage (terms like effective altruism and reciprocal altruism would be meaningless), doesn't match your usage, and is based on a gross misunderstanding of how morality comes about (if written about this misunderstanding here - see section 4, "Honesty as meta-virtue," for the most relevant part).
Under that...
It's been claimed that increasing rationality increases effective altruism. I think that this is true, but the effect size is unclear to me, so it seems worth exploring how strong the evidence for it is. I've offered some general considerations below, followed by a description of my own experience. I'd very much welcome thoughts on the effect that rationality has had on your own altruistic activities (and any other relevant thoughts).
The 2013 LW Survey found that 28.6% of respondents identified as effective altruists. This rate is much higher than the rate in the general population (even after controlling for intelligence), and because LW is distinguished by virtue of being a community focused on rationality, one might be led to the conclusion that increasing rationality increases effective altruism. But there are a number of possible confounding factors:
So it's helpful to look beyond the observed correlation and think about the hypothetical causal pathways between increased rationality and increased effective altruism.
The above claim can be broken into several subclaims (any or all of which may be intended):
Claim 1: When people are more rational, they're more likely to pick their altruistic endeavors that they engage in with a view toward maximizing utilitarian expected value.
Claim 2: When people are more rational, they're more likely to succeed in their altruistic endeavors.
Claim 3: Being more rational strengthens people's altruistic motivation.
Claim 1: "When people are more rational, they're more likely to pick their altruistic endeavors that they engage in with a view toward maximizing utilitarian expected value."
Some elements of effective altruism thinking are:
Claim 2: "When people are more rational, they're more likely to succeed in their altruistic endeavors."
If "rationality" is taken to be "instrumental rationality" then this is tautologically true, so the relevant sense of "rationality" here is "epistemic."
Claim 3: "Being more rational strengthens people's altruistic motivation."
Putting it all together
The considerations above point in the direction of increased rationality of a population only slightly (if at all?) increasing the effective altruism at the 50th percentile of the population, but increasing the effective altruism at higher percentiles more, with the skewing becoming more and more extreme the further up one goes. This is in parallel with, e.g. the effect of height on income.
My own experience
In A personal history of involvement with effective altruism I give some relevant autobiographical information. Summarizing and elaborating a bit:
How about you?