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Punoxysm comments on Questioning and Respect - Less Wrong
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I want to point out that when the person is telling you something personal or sensitive to them (say, talking about something hurtful that their significant other did), it is almost always best to err on the side of asking fewer questions. Even if they may be misunderstanding the situation that they feel hurt by, being extremely delicate is best. Otherwise, you're just adding insult to injury.
I agree when it comes to asking questions about the facts of the situation. On the other hand, asking nonjudgmental questions about the person's feelings is a good way to establish rapport, if that's your goal. (See also)
Absolutely, but you have to be sensitive. If you genuinely are a little skeptical of the accuracy of the story or the reasonableness of the person's reaction to what happened, you can easily slip and sound condescending, disbelieving and dismissive.