RichardKennaway comments on The Octopus, the Dolphin and Us: a Great Filter tale - Less Wrong
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Not necessarily. A culture that include the concept of a "raiser" - an octopus with the job of raising the babies, and passing the culture on to them, without mating at all - can avoid that issue. The "raiser" would also improve his average genetic fitness if he is a sibling of one of the parents, since the children would then all have approximately one-quarter of his genes.
If it's not enough to kill off the species, evolution generally won't drop the feature.
From the genes' point of view, the soma is just a vehicle for transporting the genes through time. With each generation, the genes shed the soma like people change their car. If the parent is unnecessary for the survival of the children, the genes in the children may be better off for not having the parent around to compete for food.
See my comment about group selection below.
This is competition between the parents and their own offspring. No group selection.