LOL. In that case I have a lot of useful predictions to make:

• Inflation will wipe out the savings held in cash
• There will be riots in major cities
• Public transportation will have a horrible accident with many people killed
• Some food in a supermarket will turn out to be tainted
• There will be a serial killer on the loose
• You will die

...I can easily continue...

P.S. Maybe you should mention your advice to all the financial gurus on LW who insist that the only place to put your money into is an equities index fund X-D