I have done this. People are unskilled at execution. It's not simple and it takes a bit of care, you have to display empathy that you are uncomfortable with the conclusions, and that it isn't something that you are happy or want to believe, and that if any one is ever going to provide a solution to give every one a better chance, then we will not get there with making it a crime to think this and organize around it. They just want assurance that you're not the person they read about in the history books.
They just want assurance that you're not the person they read about in the history books.
The problem is that many of the people "they read about in the history books" did indeed have accurate views on race. Which means the only way to reassure them that you're not that person is to either lie to them about your beliefs or have inaccurate beliefs.
Unfamiliar or unpopular ideas will tend to reach you via proponents who:
The basic idea: It's unpleasant to promote ideas that result in social sanction, and frustrating when your ideas are met with indifference. Both situations are more likely when talking to an ideological out-group. Given a range of positions on an in-group belief, who will decide to promote the belief to outsiders? On average, it will be those who believe the benefits of the idea are large relative to in-group opinion (extremists), those who view the social costs as small (disagreeable people), and those who are dispositionally drawn to promoting weird ideas (cranks).
I don't want to push this pattern too far. This isn't a refutation of any particular idea. There are reasonable people in the world, and some of them even express their opinions in public, (in spite of being reasonable). And sometimes the truth will be unavoidably unfamiliar and unpopular, etc. But there are also...
Some benefits that stem from recognizing these selection effects:
I think the first benefit listed is the most useful.
To sum up: An unpopular idea will tend to get poor representation for social reasons, which will makes it seem like a worse idea than it really is, even granting that many unpopular ideas are unpopular for good reason. So when you encounter a idea that seem unpopular, you're probably hearing about it from a sub-optimal source, and you should try to be charitable towards the idea before dismissing it.