Of course I wasn't there. But it occurs to me that there are several reasons why "marginal" examples might actually be the most useful:
I'd put the examples you give in the category of (not typical examples of sexual harassment, but) things that are frequently harmless but (1) might cause easily-avoided annoyance or upset in some cases and so should maybe be avoided and (2) in some cases might indicate, or be thought to indicate, an underlying bad attitude (women in the workplace being seen primarily as eye candy; women being seen as lower-status and akin to children).
I repeat: of course I wasn't there and don't know exactly what your presenter said about these examples. If s/he said "these things are definitely harassment and you could get in serious trouble for doing them" then I'd regard that as unreasonable; if s/he said "these things may seem harmless, and often they are, but you should still avoid them", I'd agree.
Anyway, I mention all this just in the interests of mutual understanding; it's all kinda irrelevant to the question of whether "greater risk of sexual harassment lawsuits" is a good justification for rating an identically-described person as substantially more "competent" if they have a male name than a female name. Do you really think it is?
To define the region of (concept-)space a thing occupies, you might want to point to a few places on its boundary.
The problem is that it causes people to treat it as an archetypical example.
I'd put the examples you give in the category of (not typical examples of sexual harassment, but) things that are frequently harmless but (1) might cause easily-avoided annoyance or upset in some cases and so should maybe be avoided
I fail to see why it should be policy to cater to people who are clearly being unreasonable.
I remember seeing a talk of the concept of privilege show up in the discussion thread on contrarian views.
Some discussion got started from "Feminism is a good thing. Privilege is real."
This is an article that presents some of those ideas in a way that might be approachable for LW.
http://curt-rice.com/quotas-microaggression-and-meritocracy/
One of the ideas I take out of this is that these issues can be examined as the result of unconscious cognitive bias. IE sexism isn't the result of any conscious thought, but can be the result as a failure mode where we don't rationality correctly in these social situations.
Of course a broad view of these issues exist, and many people have different ways of looking at these issues, but I think it would be good to focus on the case presented in this article rather than your other associations.