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RichardKennaway comments on Open Thread: What are your important insights or aha! moments? - Less Wrong
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I think this one is also applicable if you do. Anyone who feels the need to do certain things, or avoid other things, against their actual wishes in the matter, because their "gender identity" tells them, "a Man must ---" or "a Woman must ---" would help themselves by learning this lesson.
Many people find it helpful to have a clearly defined gender persona, however. It's just that people who have a strong pre-existing preference in the matter (which is essentially what a "gender identity" is) will probably choose to project an outward persona that's consistent with their preference.