it sound like you think I don't love my primary

Oy. Didn't mean anything like that.

Sorry, I was unclear. Or maybe I misunderstood you. Or both. Actually, in what sense he is "yours", is not clear to me. Certainly it does not look like you are restricting the choices he makes, including his choice of an extra romantic partner, or at least not by much. My best guess is that you two get preferential and unfettered access to each other... Anyway, not sure if this is getting anywhere.