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timujin comments on Stupid Questions December 2014 - Less Wrong
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Comments (341)
Do you know me?
I find a lot of evidence for it, but I am not sure I am not being selective. For example, I am the only one in my peer group that never did any extra-curricular activities at school. While everyone had something like sports or hobbies, I seemed to only study at school an waste all my other time surfing the internet and playing the same video games over and over.
The idea that playing an instrument is a hobby while playing a video game isn't is completely cultural. It says something about values but little about competence.
One important difference is that video games are optimized to be fun while musical instruments aren't. Therefore, playing an instrument can signal discipline in a way that playing a game can't.
I'm not sure that's true. There's selection pressure on musical instruments to make them fun to use. Most of the corresponding training also mostly isn't optimised for learning but for fun.
There's also selection pressure on instruments to make them pleasant to listen to. There's no corresponding constraint on video games.
In an age of eSports I'm not sure that's true. Quite a lot of games are not balanced to make them fun for the average player but balanced for high level tournament play.
Having a background belief that you're worse than everyone at everything probably lowered your initiative.
Obvious question: Are you better at those games than other people? (On average, don't compare yourself to the elite.)
How easy did studying come to you?
At THOSE games? Yes. I can complete about half of American McGee's Alice blindfolded. Other games? General gaming? No. Or, okay, I am better than non-gamers, but my kinda-gamer peers are crub-stomping me at multiplayer in every game.
Studying - very easy. Now, when I am a university student - quite hard.
Seems like you fell prey to the classic scenario of "being intelligent enough to breeze through high school and all I ended up with is a crappy work ethic."
University is as good of a place as any to fix this problem. First of all, I encourage you to do all the things people tell you you should do, but most people don't: Read up before classes, review after classes, read the extra material, ask your professors questions or help, schedule periodic review sessions of the stuff you're supposed to know... You'll regret not doing those things when you get your degree but don't feel very competent about your knowledge. Try to make a habit out of this and it'll get easier in other aspects of your life.
And try new things. This is probably a cliché in the LW-sphere by now, but really try a lot of new things.
Thanks. Still, should I take it as "yes, you are less competent than people around you"?
Maybe just less disciplined than you need to be. "Less competent" is too confusingly relative to mean anything solid.
Well, here's a confusing part. I didn't tell the whole truth in parent post, there are actually two areas that I am probably more competent than peers, in which others openly envy me instead of the other way around. One is the ability to speak English (a foreign language, most my peers wouldn't be able to ask this question here), another is discipline. Everyone actually envies me for almost never procrastinating, never forgetting anything, etc. Are we talking about different disciplines here?
If you already have discipline, what exactly is the difficulty you're finding to study now as compared to previous years?
Sometimes, I just have trouble understanding the subject areas. I am going to take MathiasZaman's advice: I always used my discipline to complete in time and with quality what needs to be completed, but not into anything extra. Mostly, though, it is (social) anxiety - I can't approach a professor with anything unless I have a pack of companions backing me up, or can't start a project unless a friend confirms that I correctly understand what it is that has to be done. And my companions have awful discipline, worst of anyone I ever worked with (which is not many). So I end up, for example, preparing all assignments in time, but hand them in only long after the time is due, when a friend has prepared them. I am working on that problem, and it becomes less severe as the time goes.
I agree; group assignments are the worst. Is there any way you can get the university to let you take unique tests for the themes you already master?
So it seems like you can solve the problems... but then you are somehow frozen by fear that maybe your solution is not correct. Until someone else confirms that it is correct, and then you are able to continue. Solving the problem is not a problem; giving it to the teacher is.
On the intellectual level, you should update the prior probability that your solutions are correct.
On the emotional level... what exactly is this horrible outcome your imagination shows you if you would give the professor a wrong solution?
It is probably something that feels stupid if you try to explain it. (Maybe you imagine the professor screaming at you loudly, and the whole university laughing at you. It's not realistic, but it may feel so.) But that's exactly the point. On some level, something stupid happens in your mind, because otherwise you wouldn't have this irrational problem. It doesn't make sense, but it's there in your head, influencing your emotions and actions. So the proper way is to describe your silent horrible vision explicitly, as specifically as you can (bring it from the darkness to light), until your own mind finally notices that it really was stupid.
Reading that it sounds like your core issue is around low self confidence.
Taking an IQ test might help to dispell the idea that you are below average. You might be under the LW IQ average IQ of 140 but you are probably well above 100 which is the average in society.
I don't think I know you, but I'm not that great at remembering people. I made the claim about your writing because I've spent a lot of time online.
I'm sure you're being selective about the people you're comparing yourself to.