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Emile comments on Towards a theory of nerds... who suffer. - Less Wrong
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Maybe practice editing more? If you suck at it, rewriting /editing your posts will only make you better at it. It might be a bit of work, it might take a bit of time, but it's nice to take ten minutes of your time to save thirty seconds to a hundred readers (and more importantly to save all the time wasted by comments who misunderstood part of what you said and the ensuing back-and-forth).
(I personally don't have much time to spend reading long preachy walls of texts telling me about my supposed self-hatred; I didn't downvote your post but skipped to the discussion because the post itself wasn't very engaging and seemed to get things wrong fairly quickly)
I just don't know what to delete...
All of it. Then start over at the other end. Write the thrust of the article in one plain sentence. I don't know what it is at the moment. Write it in bullet points. Write it in exactly 100 words. Never write a sentence when one word will do; never write one word when none will do. Think only about what truth you are trying to present, and why the reader should agree.
Also, while I don't want to speculate about your life, it does read like an autobiographical ramble driven by unhappy memories. My personal reaction to it is just, "I don't care about these people."