How does "caring for your friend’s and family" fit in a consequentialist/utilitarian framework ?

If you have a desert-adjusted moral system, especially if combined with risk aversion, then it might make sense to care for friends and family more than others.

You want to spend your “caring units” on those who deserve them, you know enough about your friends and family to determine they deserve caring units, and you are willing to accept a lower expected return on your caring units to reduce the risk of giving to a stranger who doesn’t deserve them.

Now to debate myself…

What about that unbearable cousin? A family member, but not deserving of your caring units.

Also, babies. If an infant family member and a poor Third World infant both have unknown levels of desert, shouldn’t you give to the poor Third World infant, assuming this will have a greater impact?