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I want to emphasize that a transactional attitude toward relationships is itself inherently pathological. Someone with this attitude will always either feel resentful that they aren't getting a better "deal" in the relationship or anxiety that the other person feels that way about them.
I don't think this is really the problem for many long-term male virgins. Really, emphasizing the virginity aspect is a mistake in itself. If you're forming stable romantic relationships, sex happens. It's a secondary effect. A 25 year old virgin's real problem is not that he isn't having sex, it's that he's not forming stable romantic relationships which are consequences of normal social/psychological development. Patronizing a prostitute or trying to seduce a girl in a nightclub isn't going to solve the underlying problem that has prevented him from normal social/psychological development. I think likely it will feed into the bitterness and futility they feel.
Mostly, the "pedestal" concept is part of a self-serving narrative that a lot of men who are suffering from social failures find appealing. They tell themselves their problem is that they are to respectful and nice to women, and women are cruelly victimizing them for that. This seems to be a completely pathological attitude.
Is there some further info about the concept of "transactional attitudes in relationships" ? I tried to google it, little avail. I would like to know more about it, because IMHO some amount of transactionality is inherent (even in friendships, people will not give forever without getting anything in return), and it sort of makes sense from the different libido of the two genders that the major exchange is women giving sex, men giving something else, but probably too much short-termist attitude in that (expecting instant repayment instead of an on... (read more)