If a neighbor feels uneasy because of noise I create and the person comes to me, that creates in me a desire to stop making that person uncomfortable.
For me, and many others, it depends a lot on whether they come to you with a request for a favor, or with a complaint.
A complaint will likely be met with an assertion of rights, not accommodation.
There are two issues:
1) Likelihood of success by asking directly:
Of course it's higher when you ask in an effective way. I would recommend the framework of nonviolent communication.
2) Costs of asking the landlord before asking directly:
Carol: Dear landlord Dave, my neighbor is to loud.
Dave: Dear Alice, Carol told me that you are to loud.
Alice: Dear Dave, I'm fully within the house rules and anyway Carol didn't even ask me to turn down the volume.
Dave: Dear Carol, is it true that you didn't ask Alice directly to turn down the volume?
Carol: Yes, but....
That's a situation into which Carol doesn't want to navigate herself.
My hidden secret goal is to understand the sentiments behind social justice better, however I will refrain from asking questions that directly relate to it, as they can be mind-killers, instead, I have constructed an entirely apolitical, and probably safe thought experiment involving a common everyday problem that shouldn't be incisive.
Alice is living in an apartment, she is listening to music. The volume of her music is well within what is allowed by the regulations or social norms. Yet the neighbor is still complaining and wants her to turn it down, claiming that she (the neighbor) is unusually sensitive to noise due to some kind of ear or mental condition.
Bob, Alice's friend is also present, and he makes a case that while she can turn it down basically out of niceness or neighborliness, this level of kindness is going far beyond the requirements of duty, and should be considered a favor, because she has no ethical duty to turn it down, for the following reasons.
1) Her volume level of music is usual, it is the sensitivity level of the neighbor that is unusual, and we are under no duty to cater to every special need of others.
2) In other words, it is okay to cause suffering to others as long as it is a usual, common, accepted thing to do that would not cause suffering to a typical person.
The reasons for this are
A) It would be too hard to do otherwise, to cater to every special need, in this case it is easy, but not in all cases, so this is no general principle.
B/1) It would not help the other person much, if the other person is unusually sensitive, the problem would not be fixed by one person catering to them. A hundred people should cater to it, after all there are many sources of noise in the neighborhood.
B/2) In other words, if you are unusually rude, reducing it to usual levels of rudeness is efficient, because by that one move you made a lot of people content. But if you are already on the usual levels of rudeness and an unusually sensitive person is still suffering, further reduction is less efficient because you are only one of the many sources of their suffering. And these people are few anyway.
C) Special needs are easy to fake.
D) People should really work on toughening up and growing a thicker skin, it is actually possible.
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