buybuydandavis comments on The Mr. Hyde of Oxytocin - Less Wrong

4 Post author: theowl 10 May 2015 12:42AM

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Comment author: Dentin 10 May 2015 03:11:54PM 1 point [-]

FYI, my solution to my trust issues has been to accept them, and attack the other side of the trust coin: I remain as untrusting as before, I simply care less about the failure modes.

For me personally, this makes things a lot more entertaining. It becomes a game of seeing if I can predict if someone is going to violate my trust or not - I trust them with something trivial and unimportant to see what will happen. I expect and anticipate failure a lot of the time from my lab rats, and am usually pleasantly surprised when I don't get it.

Over time I build up models of the people I can trust in various ways, but even with the best of them it winds up looking like airport landing times: even the most reliable route fails fairly often, but as long as it doesn't cause cascading effects that's ok.

Comment author: buybuydandavis 11 May 2015 01:45:52AM *  0 points [-]

With the job interview, it's more of a one shot deal. Any solution for that scenario?

I simply care less about the failure modes.

The trouble is I want to be more trusting and open exactly in those instances when I care more about the outcome, when something significant is on the line.

Comment author: OrphanWilde 11 May 2015 01:47:35PM 2 points [-]

Practice when it doesn't matter so that it comes as second nature when it does.