necate comments on How to come to a rational believe about whether someone has a crush on yo - Less Wrong

-3 [deleted] 14 May 2015 12:10PM

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Comment author: necate 14 May 2015 02:57:03PM 0 points [-]

Have you got any advise on how to rephrase tis definition? The Idea was that everyone knows best for himself how long it takes do develope a crush on someone. Hence the category "know well enough that you could have a crush on them" . Hovever i was not sure that everyone would be able to define this for himself therefori addet the backup category. If you dont need 5 hours to find out if you would want to go on a date with a girl, than you know what "know well enough that you could have a crush on them" means for you and you should go by your personal definition.

Comment author: ChristianKl 14 May 2015 08:57:51PM 1 point [-]

I don't think that "developing a crush" is a good way to think about the issue.

If a girl that I consider attractive both on a physical and mental level asks me for a date and I'm not in a relationship I go with her on a date. I don't need to develop feelings for her before that point that make her special.

To me having a crush suggests thinking about the other person when one isn't in their presence and wishing to be in their presence. Actively desiring to have a relationship.

If I know that one of my female friends who I consider attractive both on the physical and mental level is in a stable monogamous relationship I'm less likely in a state where I actively desire a relationship with her. If however her circumstances change and she leaves her old relationship and wants to go on a date with me, why should I reject that?